i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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