WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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