i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
