remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
