The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
