he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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