Only a mothe r could love this liver
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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