Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Small penises have feelings too.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
