i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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