Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
