Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
