I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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