he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
