Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Enjoy the penises
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
