I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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