Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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