my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Shame - the story of my life.
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