even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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