trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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