i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
