I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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