I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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