I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
