Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i will never coherently bang her
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
