well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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