whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
