just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
