I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
