i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
