and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
