Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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