If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
