Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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