My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
