You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
