hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
