i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
