Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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