Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
