Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
