That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
