It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
