the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
whose parrot is this?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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