Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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