I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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