Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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