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I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
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