At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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