I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
