My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
