Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
