I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
